Mental Health

Common Causes of Insecurity and How to Beat Them

The Kumu · August 11, 2021 · Leave a Comment

Insecurity is a widespread feeling, and the root cause of insecurity can vary from person to person. However, there are many ways to beat insecurity and feel more confident about yourself. This blog post will describe some causes of insecurities, how they manifest themselves in people’s lives, and what you can do to prevent or combat them.

This blog post also includes tips on how you might handle any feelings of insecurity that come up for you during your day-to-day life. Hopefully, these helpful tips will make it easier for you to take care of yourself when those moments happen!

What Is Insecurity?

Insecurity is a feeling of uncertainty, fear, and/or doubt. People can have insecurities about their self-perception, how other people treat them, how others perceive them, and more. Insecurity can also take many different forms.

In the end, insecurity occurs when you have questions or concerns related to how something is perceived. You may ask yourself: “Do I look good?”, “Am I smart enough?”, “Do I have what it takes?”, “Will anyone like me?” and, most importantly, “What if my insecurity is true?”

Why Is It Important to Address Your Insecurities?

Insecurity can affect you in many ways. It might make it harder for you to make friends, or it may cause you to avoid doing something that will help you grow and develop as a person. Sometimes insecurity can lead to being overly sensitive to things in your environment, like how other people act around you.

In some cases, insecurity can affect your ability to enjoy yourself, and the people around you will probably be affected as well. If you tend to be insecure a lot, your relationships with other people might suffer because of it.

Insecurity can also make it harder for you to accept compliments, making those who try to compliment you feel awkward. Insecure people may also have difficulties keeping friendships because they tend to doubt the intentions of their friends. Sometimes, insecurity can even trigger strong feelings of envy towards other people.

Insecurities like these can make it impossible for you to live a comfortable life and may make it more difficult to enjoy yourself with the people around you.

Find the Cause of Your Insecurity

The first step in getting rid of your insecurities is understanding what is causing them. The reason is often referred to as a “trigger.” Here are some of the common causes of insecurity, and how to beat them.

Fear of Abandonment, Rejection, or Lack of Belonging

This is especially true if something recently happened to make you feel that way. Humans are wired to fear rejection, so an unexpected abandonment or loss can strongly affect your emotions.

How to fight it?

Talk about it! If you are afraid of being abandoned by someone you used to feel close to, find a place where you can talk about it. It will help you manage those emotions and deal with them better! You can try writing down your thoughts in a journal or blogging about your feelings.

You can also make new friends. If a person or group doesn’t accept you, that’s their loss. You can find new people who will accept and love you for all of your quirks!

Fear of Failure

Fear of failure can stem from a desire to avoid the stress, anxiety, and/or disappointment of a failed attempt. Sometimes people are afraid of making other people around them feel bad if they fail too. For example, many kids feel they need to prove something to their parents by getting high grades.

Not getting those good grades might cause them to feel like they let their parents down or that their parents will no longer love and support them. Other people might not want to hurt the feelings of a teacher who is counting on them to do well in the class.

How to fight it?

You first need to identify what’s causing this fear of failure. Why is there so much pressure on your shoulders? Then, you can work on finding solutions to those problems. If you are afraid of disappointing your boss and getting fired, you could tell them you really want to give the best performance possible, but that sometimes it’s just not enough. Seeing how hard it is to perform your task might help them understand your challenges better and help you.

If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your boss, you can talk to a coworker or human resources.

Fear of Being Judged

For people with severe anxiety, even walking down a crowded street can be a problem. They may feel like everyone on the street is staring at them and judging their appearance, behavior, or even thinking about how they should live their lives.

While some people may stare because of that, most people won’t care enough to notice. And even if they do see, the chances are that they aren’t giving you enough attention to care about what you’re doing. They could be thinking about something else entirely, or just going through their own daily lives like everyone else!

Fear of being judged is part of a more significant problem: Social anxiety. Social anxiety is defined as feeling fear, apprehension, or worry in a social situation. This condition can arise at any time in the life of someone who suffers from it, but it is pervasive in teenagers and young adults.

How to fight it?

First of all, try not to become too paranoid. Calm down and take a deep breath. It’s all about how you feel about yourself, so have confidence in that! Most of the time, people’s appearances and behaviors don’t matter to anyone but themselves.

If being around many people makes you feel incredibly nervous, try talking to your friends or a family member about it. They can help give you advice and support to help you get through it.

Also, remember that the more you’re outside your house and around people, the less scary it becomes over time! You’ll become used to seeing different kinds of people and won’t be afraid anymore.

Shame or Guilt

“Guilty feet have got no rhythm”- that’s a line from a song by George Michael, and it’s true!

Feeling ashamed of yourself or guilty for your actions can make you feel like you don’t deserve to have fun, especially if what you did is serious in any way. Maybe you cheated on a test, took something that didn’t belong to you, or even did something like hurt someone’s feelings.

The constant toll it takes on your confidence can lead to serious insecurity problems.

How to fight it?

Managing your emotions while dealing with guilt and shame can be very difficult.

You should never feel bad about trying your best- just try harder next time! Remember that everyone makes mistakes sometimes. The important thing is not letting those mistakes define you as a person, but learning from them and making sure they don’t happen again.

Try making things right if you can. After all, it’s not about what others will think of you when you do wrong- but rather how good it feels to right a wrong that happened! Apologizing will help clear your conscience and give you a sense of purpose.

If you find yourself struggling to feel better about yourself after doing something wrong, it might be worth it to speak with a professional.

Anger Due to Perfectionism

Artists are the main victim of this type of insecurity. They expect so much more of themselves than what they are capable of. If a painting is not perfect, the artist might think it’s no good at all and throw it away. Some of the best singers in the world criticize themselves to no end when they don’t sound as good as they want.

In truth, that’s wrong because there’s always room for improvement regardless of how well you do. What matters most is your effort and consistency rather than just getting something done perfectly.

How to fight it?

First of all, try not to be so hard on yourself! Everyone makes mistakes sometimes! It’s important to remind yourself that each mistake teaches you something new and gives you a chance to do better next time. It would also help if you understood that nothing in this world is perfect, so there’s no reason why you should have to be!

Finally, remember to celebrate the accomplishments you do make! That’s what will keep you going.

Conclusion

Insecurity is an ugly part of human nature, but it can and will be beaten by those who know how to do it! In any case, understanding the root of your insecurity should be the first step you take to overcome it. Self-love and acceptance should be your goal.

Becoming confident will help you feel great about yourself and the world around you. It’s important to remember that there are plenty of opportunities to learn from your mistakes- be persistent and forgiving of yourself, so you can keep it living fully!

What Is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)?

The Kumu · August 11, 2021 · Leave a Comment

Most commonly known under its acronym CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is one type of talking therapy that is aimed at helping patients with the management of a wide range of mental health and emotional difficulties.

To better understand what the expression means, and how cognitive behavioral therapy works, it can be useful to look at each of its three terms.

“Cognitive” refers to any process associated with “cognition” – in a nutshell, it involves all of those mental processes that allow an individual to understand, comprehend, and make sense of what happens around them. There are five different mental processes involved in the wider realm of “cognition”, and they are: thinking, understanding, remembering, knowing, judging, and problem-solving.

The adjective “behavioral” can be seen as the other end of the spectrum in relation to “cognition”. Where “cognition” is associated with some form of intellectual activity or reasoning, “behavior” is connected to practical action. Synonyms of “behavior”, in fact, are “attitude”, “conduct”, and even “habits”.

“Therapy”, of course, refers to a form of treatment, which can or can not involve the use of medication. In the case of cognitive-behavioral therapy, as we will see shortly, there are no prescription drugs required, as this is a so-called “talking therapy” – the tools through which CBT operates and works are verbal and written communication between the therapist and the patient.

If we now put these three terms together, we will more easily understand what cognitive-behavioral therapy is: a way to treat mental issues derived from incorrect ways of thinking by talking through these, with the ultimate aim to change the sufferer’s behavior to a more positive, empowering one.

When Was Cognitive Behavioral Therapy First Introduced?

To further expand our understanding of cognitive-behavioral therapy, we should take a step back and look at its history, development, and popularity.

In the 1960s, Dr. Aaron T. Black, who at the time was practicing as a psychiatrist at the University of Pennsylvania, was the medical professional who pioneered cognitive behavioral therapy.

Dr. Black conducted several studies on patients who suffered from depression, in order to test some psychoanalytic concepts associated with this illness. The epiphany occurred when Dr. Black realized that his expectations of this study completely contradicted the actual findings.

He discovered, in fact, that patients who were suffering from depression manifested almost automatic negative thoughts, that appeared in a kind of flow, and in a very spontaneous fashion. He decided that these “automatic thoughts” fell into three different categories.

The patient had negative views of himself or herself
The patient had negative views of the world around them
The patient had negative views of his or her future

Dr. Black, therefore, started to support his patient in identifying and analyzing these thoughts. What were they, why were they arising, and when did they first occur in their lives? Together, he and his patients began to unravel histories of dysfunctional belief systems, fears and phobias, and more. All of these elements were contributing to the patient behaving in negative, sometimes even harmful, ways, which, in turn, often generated mental health illnesses such as general anxiety disorder (GAD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and depression.

By helping his patients to change those underlying fears, beliefs, and limiting thoughts, the therapist was able to support them towards long-lasting change in their resulting behaviors. This demonstrated that “cognitive behavioral therapy”, as Dr. Black named it, was incredibly efficient in treating several forms of depression – but not only that.

What Mental Health Issues Can CBT Help to Treat?

As we mentioned, cognitive behavioral therapy is very helpful in treating depression – both mild and more severe types – as well as other forms of mental health problems, which include generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, eating disorders (such as anorexia and bulimia), panic disorder, phobias, pre-and post-natal depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), psychosis, schizophrenia, sleep problems, and issues associated with drug and alcohol abuse, as well as other forms of addiction.

Aside from mental and emotional health, CBT has also been shown to help alleviate symptoms of physical conditions, such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS), and fibromyalgia.

It is, however, essential to highlight the fact that CBT itself does not “cure” these illnesses – it provides the sufferers with some practical help to change the way they deal and cope with them, on a daily basis.

How Does CBT Work, In Practice?

During a typical CBT session, the patient will begin by talking to the therapist about his or her limiting beliefs, thought patterns, and fears. Anything that they deem important to the way they act and behave in their daily life will be discussed, explored, and thoroughly reconstructed with help from the therapist.

Following this initial consultation, the therapist will provide the patients with some “tools” that are aimed at effectively transforming those negative thoughts into positive ones. Not only that, but their ultimate goal is to completely change the way the sufferer behaves on a day-to-day basis. Some of the “tools” that a patient is given are, in fact, very practical ones.

For example, a patient undergoing cognitive behavioral therapy might be asked to keep a daily journal. In this journal, they might need to write down each one of their negative thoughts, and match them with positive actions. Then, they might need to record if and when they succeeded at taking those positive actions, and how that made them feel.

It is important to remember, as well, that CBT – unlike, for example, traditional psychotherapy – focuses on the “here and now”. It does not necessarily deal or dwell too much on a person’s past events (unless one of them was identified by the sufferer as an actual “trigger” to some of their limiting beliefs) because it places all the attention on what the person is doing right now, and how to change it to improve the way they feel about themselves, the world, and their future.

Generally speaking, if a person chooses to begin a course of cognitive-behavioral therapy sessions, they can expect to meet with their therapist once a week or once every two weeks. Each session lasts from 30 to 60 minutes, and the overall course of sessions is relatively short: most patients achieve some good results in as little as 12 weeks.

Once the sufferer has learned all the best ways to cope with their negative thoughts and has applied some positive change to their daily actions and behaviors, the therapy can be concluded successfully. However, for the treatment to have a long-lasting, positive effect, the patient needs to continue using the “tools” that we mentioned earlier, in order to keep practicing their new habits, beliefs, and actions.

The final objective is, in fact, for the sufferer to be able to use those skills in an almost automatic way – it is at this point, then, that their “automatic thoughts” will have become more positive and empowering, as opposed to negative and disruptive.

What Are the Advantages of CBT?

Cognitive-behavioral therapy can be very beneficial, for example, in those cases where prescription medication did not help the sufferer, or if a different and more ”traditional” type of talking therapy did not work.

Similarly, CBT can also generate great results pretty quickly, so it might be a good option for a person who is going through a very rough time and requires some rapid relief. Naturally, they will still need to work towards their goals, as CBT alone will not be enough to allow them to overcome their hurdles.

While CBT has several benefits, it is important to remember that it may not be for everyone. For example, if a person has suffered from severe mental health issues for most of their life, it might be helpful to dig into their past a little bit more by choosing a different type of talking therapy. Psychotherapy, in these cases, might be recommended, as it can help to create a more holistic and comprehensive view of the sufferer’s problems.

Do you think that CBT might be useful in allowing you to overcome some specific thought processes and negative beliefs that are having a harmful impact on your daily life, relationships, and activities? Get in touch with us today, and discover our CBT treatment options or schedule an initial consultation with one of our CBT therapists.

What Is the Most Painful Mental Health Disorder?

The Kumu · July 13, 2021 · Leave a Comment

There are 157 diagnoses in the fifth and latest version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders (DSM-V). The comprehensive reference book for psychiatric disorders includes disorders like Schizophrenia, Dissociative Identity Disorder, and Bipolar Disorder, all of which are highly distressing mental health disorders to live with.

Every person’s experience with mental illness is unique, and suffering comes in many forms. However, among all the psychological disorders known today, there’s one that is commonly regarded in the psychiatric community as being the most internally painful, filled with intense emotional distress, and mental anguish. It is also one of the most stigmatized: borderline personality disorder.

What is a personality disorder?

A personality disorder is a manner of thinking, feeling, and behaving in a way that is unhealthy, and fundamentally different from what’s regarded as normal by most people. These differences affect every aspect of a person’s life.

There are 10 personality disorders in the DSM-V, which are categorized into three groups: Cluster A, Cluster B, and Cluster C.

Cluster A personality disorders are primarily suspicious.

Cluster B personality disorders are primarily emotional and impulsive.

Cluster C personality disorders are primarily anxious.

Many people feel that the term borderline personality disorder isn’t an accurate representation of the illness. They instead refer to it as emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD), which touches on the emotional dysregulation of the illness.

Overview of Borderline Personality Disorder

People with BPD aren’t all exactly the same, but most people experience some degree of these traits during their illness.

Unstable personal identity

BPD is characterized by an unstable sense of self that stems from not feeling as though they have an internal identity. This sets the foundation for many other BPD traits and intrapersonal feelings. It’s common for them to change their style or interests, particularly during adolescence, as an attempt to secure a sense of self.

Intense emotions

This is often further agitated by uncontrollably intense emotional responses, which others frequently regard as unreasonable for the situation. However, for the person with BPD, it’s not just a display. It feels like an incredibly painful, debilitating, and vulnerable experience. It’s often accompanied by feelings of abandonment, betrayal, or both.

Substance abuse, risky behavior, and self-harm

This lack of identity leaves them with constant feelings of painful emptiness that many will try to combat with thrilling and sometimes dangerous experiences. This may include using drugs and alcohol, frequent instances of risky, unprotected sex, compulsive spending, and self-harm as an attempt to self-soothe.

Codependent, rocky relationships

The feelings of emptiness and lack of internal identity often translate as a person who believes only others can determine their value. This maladaptive belief leads to many people getting involved in intense codependent relationships that satisfy a self-fulfilling prophecy of becoming turbulent.

Frantic efforts to avoid real or perceived abandonment

Even though they might see their personal pattern, it seems out of their control. When relationships become difficult, someone with BPD might become more insecure or suspicious, which can put more pressure on a relationship. If their partner pulls away, or they merely perceive their partner is pulling away, it’s often met with an extreme, desperate, and possibly threatening demand for them to stay.

Sometimes others view this as a manipulation tactic or purely for the sake of drama, however, these desperate and inappropriate displays are an uncontrolled, but accurate reflection of how they feel: raw and exposed, with no emotional “skin”, and no control over themselves or their situation.

The pain of this disorder is often so intense and unbearable that up to 10% people who have BPD die by suicide.

Psychotherapy Treatment Options

BPD doesn’t have a cure but you can learn to manage your symptoms effectively, and live a long, fulfilling life. There are several psychotherapy treatment options that can help you get control over your symptoms and reframe your perspective.

These are some options for psychotherapy that are found to be effective for some:

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT)

Dialectical behavioral therapy was created specifically for people with borderline personality disorder. It’s based on cognitive-behavioral therapy but with a stronger focus on tolerating stress, managing intense emotions and improving relationships. It includes individual therapy and group therapy, and is one of the best treatment options for managing symptoms of BPD.

Schema-focused therapy

You can do schema-focused therapy in a group or individual setting. This type of therapy helps you to identify the systems of thought that lead you to develop these maladaptive ways of having your needs met. It also aims to teach you to develop new ways of thinking and behaving so you can have your needs met in a way that’s healthy for an adult.

Transference-focused therapy (TFP)

Transference-focused therapy is also called psychodynamic psychotherapy. The goal is to help you understand where you have difficulties in interpersonal relationships through the ongoing relationship you have with your therapist. You can explore these difficulties as they come up naturally.

Mentalization-based therapy (MBT)

Mentalization-based therapy helps you to think before you act. It also helps you to identify your thoughts and feelings at any moment, which is a skill that a lot of people with BPD have a hard time with. After identifying your thoughts and feelings, it helps you to imagine a different kind of perspective.

Systems training for emotional predictability and problem-solving (STEPPS)

STEPPS is a structured, 20-week program that involves your family and the people who are close to you. You do group exercises and develop the skills necessary for developing and maintaining positive relationships. It doesn’t only depend on you to change your habits. It’s a team effort you make with your loved ones.

Good psychiatric management

This treatment plan depends on you having a good relationship with your psychiatrist. It depends heavily on managing difficult emotional moments as they come up using an interpersonal perspective to explain why you feel a certain way. It may incorporate different strategies, such as medications, family education, individual therapy, and groups.

Surprising Abilities That Many People With BPD Have

BPD is such a highly stigmatized disorder. There is no shortage of misconceptions of what the illness is and the intentions of the people who have it. Even among the psychiatric community, many therapists turn people away as soon as they hear BPD.

Although BPD can be such a psychologically and emotionally painful disorder to live with, there are some traits that are common among those who have BPD, which appear to be a silver lining.

Here are some of gifts that many people with BPD have:

People who have borderline personality disorder are extremely resilient. Many people don’t have any idea the kind of strength and perseverance it takes for many people with BPD to get out of bed and go about their day.

The pain they experience can be so debilitating that many can’t go on.

Many people with BPD have a heightened sense of empathy and compassion for others. They have a special insight into emotional experience, even those that they haven’t been through themselves.
Those with BPD often have a very curious mind. They’re highly sensitive and feel a strong connection with others.
With the strength and resilience that goes hand-in-hand with BPD comes courage and bravery. Many people with BPD also feel they have a responsibility to stand up for others.
They are passionate and emotional (in a good way). While emotions can become overbearing at times, they also serve a very useful and positive purpose. People who feel intense emotions experience the good parts with the bad and are able to share those good things with others.
Highly intuitive. A person with BPD can often walk into a room and know how a person is feeling. Sometimes they can tell what a person is feeling before they even realize what they’re feeling.
They love with their whole heart. The reason why they’re so passionate about others is because they care deeply. If they didn’t, their emotions wouldn’t be so intense. If you’re on the receiving end of love from a person with BPD, that can be a very lucky place to be.

Borderline personality disorder is a highly misunderstood disorder in several ways. While it can be exhausting to be around and too intense at times, it’s much more painful for the person experiencing it. A little bit of compassion and empathy can go a long way and for a disorder that ia already so painful, that bit of compassion can make a huge different to another person.

With treatment and self-compassion, BPD is a manageable. You can gain control over your emotions and your life but maintain the insight compassion that you’ve acquired over the years of emotional struggle.

Porn Addiction and Effects on the Brain

The Kumu · July 13, 2021 · Leave a Comment

One of the most misunderstood addictions (and one of the most common) is porn addiction – and with limitless access, it’s only becoming an even bigger problem, especially for young men.

While the diagnosis of porn addiction is still a controversial one amongst mental health professionals and doctors, research shows that porn addiction can have lasting effects on the brain. So, what is porn addiction and how does it affect the brain? Here’s what you need to know.

What is Porn Addiction?

Before we get into how porn addiction affects the brain, it’s important to define exactly what porn addiction is and what it looks like. Porn addiction refers to someone who becomes psychologically dependent on pornography to the extent where it’s negatively interfering with their ability to function, daily life, and their relationships.

Although there’s still plenty of research to be done on it, some doctors do consider porn addiction to be a subset of a hypersexual disorder – which is a broad term that includes behaviors that may result from porn addiction, like excessive masturbation.

What Are the Signs of Porn Addiction?

Porn addiction isn’t always easy to diagnosis, especially since the condition itself is controversial in the medical community, but there are some signs that point toward an unhealthy relationship with pornography:

The pornography that you’re viewing causes you to feel less satisfied with your partner or it begins causing relationship issues
Even when it begins causing relationship issues, you don’t feel like you can stop viewing porn
You’re regular sex life becomes or feels less satisfying than it used to be
You’re performing risky behavior to view porn, like watching it while you’re at work or out in public
You’re ignoring responsibilities or obligations to view porn, such as cancelling time with friends or calling out of work to watch pornography
You feel ashamed or frustrated after viewing pornography but feel like you can’t stop watching it
You have to continually watch more extreme pornography to feel the same release or satisfaction that you did before
You express a desire to stop viewing porn but can’t seem to quit using it
You use pornography to cope with negative emotions in your life, like anxiety, sadness, or anger
You’re spending large amounts of money on pornography and possibly at the expense of other things you need, like groceries or daily necessities

What Causes Porn Addiction

Since the diagnosis of pornography addiction is still controversial, researchers haven’t identified clear causes for it – but there are a few possible causes that could contribute to someone developing a porn addiction, such as:

Using pornography as a way to escape other mental distress: Some people may learn to use pornography as a form of escapism from other psychological or mental distress in their life.
Existing relationship and intimacy issues: If you regularly feel dissatisfied in your relationship, pornography may become an alternative sexual outlet for that dissatisfaction.
Biological causes: Specific biological factors, like changes in your brain chemistry, could also lead to an increased risk of pornography addiction.
Unhealthy cultural norms or societal expectations: Cultural ideas about the types of sex you should enjoy or how someone should behave and look during intimacy can draw a person to pornography.

Combined with the potential causes above, the easy (and often free) access that many people have to pornography could increase the risk of addiction.

How Does Porn Addiction Affect Your Brain?

Any addiction doesn’t just change your behavior or affect your life negatively – it’s a medical condition that actually affects the brain, and makes you feel compelled to keep continuing the behavior regardless of what it costs you. Porn addiction isn’t an exception to this, and here’s how it can affect or alter your brain.

It May Trigger Your Reward Center

Inside your brain, everyone’s got a reward center, whose job is to release a pleasure chemical, dopamine, into your system when you participate in specific, positive behaviors. If you’ve ever gotten a rush of happiness after eating a delicious meal, exercising, or even spending time with a loved one, there’s a good chance that your brain was supplying you with dopamine.

Because our brains reward us with dopamine for certain behaviors, it’s only natural that you may want to repeat those behaviors.

Unfortunately, addictive drugs use that same dopamine process, and flood your body with pleasurable feelings and positive reinforcement – which leads your brain into developing a preference for that substance so that it can be rewarded again and again.

This is common knowledge with addictive substances like alcohol or drugs, but research suggests that porn could work the same way. It’s easy for porn to trigger those dopamine processes because it’s already easily accessible – for many people, accessing porn and feeling that dopamine rush is as simple as logging onto the internet.

Over time, porn can create pathways and cravings in your brain, which can lead people to spend a longer time watching or viewing porn to get the same “high” they used to. Just like a tobacco user that may start off smoking a cigarette a day but end up smoking an entire pack over time, porn addiction can work the same way.

Someone who’s addicted to porn may start off only watching it a couple of times a week, but after awhile, they may begin viewing it multiple times a day just to feel that same level of satisfaction.

And, like any other addiction, it can be hard to stop watching porn once you’re addicted. If you try to quit, you may experience cravings from the brain’s reward center.

It May Rewire What You Find Arousing

Besides affecting your reward center and dopamine processes, porn addiction can also affect what you find arousing or how you respond to sexual stimuli. Everyone already has preprogrammed, biological reactions to certain stimuli – you may feel a pang of hunger when you see a tasty meal, feel sympathetic or protective over small animals, or be drawn to specific physical traits.

However, we can also change the way we react to certain stimuli by artificially overwhelming them on a regular basis and changing our expectations – which happens more often than you might think. For instance, a new horror movie might terrify you, while an old horror flick from fifty years ago might not scare you at all.

The same phenomenon can happen with pornography – with enough repeated exposure, porn and porn addiction can shape and change the way that we react to sexual situations. Pornography can provide an endless supply of exaggerated sexual stimuli, and change your expectations for intimacy and desire from a partner.

Not only can this change how you view real life partners and intimacy, but when natural stimuli can’t live up to the exaggerated, artificial stimuli that pornography offers, it can also lead to less sexual satisfaction too.

Can the Effects of Porn Addiction be Reversed?

Like any addiction, the effects of porn addiction can be long-lasting and resilient, but studies show they’re not impossible to overcome or reverse. With the right treatment and plenty of patience, the brain can heal and create new, healthy pathways, but it takes sustained effort and plenty of practice.

However, once you’ve gone through treatment and the effects of porn addiction have largely been reversed, many people feel as if they can:

Rebuild the relationships that they may have harmed with their pornography addiction, especially romantic ones
Experience intimacy in a healthy way
Turn to alternative, healthy coping mechanisms rather than pornography
Identify and manage triggers that may lead to cravings for pornography or sexual thoughts
Manage stress better

How Do You Treat Porn Addiction?

Just as you would need to treat substance abuse, porn addiction also needs treatment – and most people can’t (and shouldn’t) fight it alone. However, because pornography addiction isn’t an official disorder that shows up in the DSM-5, there’s no official or specific treatment for pornography and may be tricky to find a recovery center that even treats it – but not impossible.

At Tikvah Lake Recovery, we offer professional recovery programs for porn addiction that are personalized to treat the way that this addiction may be affecting your life and relationships. Some of these programs include:

Individual counseling
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Detox management
Group therapy sessions
Holistic and wellness treatment approaches

Going through treatment may not “cure” the addiction, but it can help you manage cravings for pornography and return to your regular life without the compulsive need to view it. If you’re interested in what a personalized treatment program for porn addiction at Tikvah Lake Recovery may look like for you or you’re just looking to find out more information about porn addiction, contact one of our experts today.

How are Escapism and Addiction Linked

The Kumu · July 13, 2021 · Leave a Comment

We all want to escape from time to time. Whether it’s from our jobs, our home life, or general life stressors, no one can continue on without some sort of rest indefinitely. It’s human nature to want a break from the mundane; we need a reset from time to time.

However, it becomes unhealthy when a person uses escapism as a means of retreating from painful memories, unresolved traumas or mental health issues in a way that is detrimental to their physical or mental health.

Unfortunately, this is a common occurrence in people who are suffering from pain that’s too much for them to bear, and too often results in dangerous activities, addiction being one of these.

In this post we will discuss the details of escapism, what it means, how it can be helpful in some cases, and when it becomes dangerous.

What is Escapism?

Merriam Webster defines escapism as “habitual diversion of the mind to purely imaginative activity or entertainment as an escape from reality or routine.” While we all do this from time to time and there are of course healthy ways to do so, when dealing with mental health issues and addiction it becomes problematic.

When using escapism healthily, a person is still capable of handling their responsibilities and is present in their day-to-day life as they would normally be. By these people, the escape is seen as a simple break; a way to reset and recharge before returning to their normal reality.

However, escapism becomes unhealthy when a person prefers to live in their imaginative reality, spending more time away from reality in order to escape the reason for their pain. This is one reason addictions begin; the addictive substance or activity affords the person their desired escape, giving them reason to stay away from the reality that is painful in some way.

Reasons for Escapism

The reasons someone might use escapism are vast, and often include mental health issues such as unresolved trauma, behavioral disorders, and the list goes on.

These are the most extreme reasons to use escapism and often result in addictive behaviors, for the simple reason that the addicted person prefers the way they feel when they are not forced to deal with their painful reality.

Other reasons a person might use escapism include a stressful home life or work environment, an overwhelming number of responsibilities, or even just plain old boredom of their seemingly mundane life.

These are the cases that tend to use escapism more sparingly, generally being aware that at some point life must resume as normal and that they must return to their responsibilities.

Forms of Escapism

There are both healthy and unhealthy ways to use escapism depending upon the person’s mentality regarding their chosen escape. However, any form of escapism can lead to dependency. Here are a few examples of some common escapism related activities:

Exercise

Exercise is widely known as a way to help us feel better, both physically and psychologically. The release of exercise-induced hormones such as oxytocin help to lift a person’s mood, along with the physical benefits that exercise brings such as weight loss, better range of motion, feeling stronger, etc.

Many people use exercise as their chosen form of escapism, and it can be a great way to feel better about life in general when done regularly.

Meditation

Meditation is a temporary form of escape that has a cumulatively positive effect on a person’s mental and emotional state. Not only does it provide a break for the amount of time required to participate, but it also works to calm the mind and create a lasting effect of tranquility over time.

This helps people to see life in a more positive way, making it feel less stressful or overwhelming. Known for being helpful for such conditions as anxiety and depression (among others), meditation is quickly becoming more popular within the mainstream wellness community.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is similar to meditation, but there are a few key differences. While meditation requires a set period of time for quiet and reflection, mindfulness can be done throughout the day, causing little to no differences within a person’s daily routine (apart from finding themselves in a better mood).

This allows life to go on as normal while also giving the person a way to escape the mundane or stressful, simply by being intentionally conscious of their thoughts or activities.

Reading

Reading is a time-honored way of escaping; the term “getting lost in a good book” comes to mind here, and rightfully so. While immersed in the story of their choosing, a person wishing to temporarily escape can find themselves involved in any reality of their choosing, depending on what book they choose to read.

As a bonus, reading has been shown to increase mental acuity and brain health and is a recommended activity to participate in on a regular basis.

Drug/Alcohol Abuse

Drug and/or alcohol abuse (also known as substance abuse) is sadly an all-too common form of escapism, and a dangerous one at that. Many addicts come from traumatic pasts or have unresolved mental health issues that are too painful for them to deal with, causing them to find ways to make the pain go away on their own.

When attending substance abuse rehabilitation psychological treatment is frequently included, as professionals in this field are aware of the correlation between addiction and mental health issues.

Risky Behaviors

Risky behavior can include anything from engaging in unsafe sexual activity to extreme sports or criminal activity. While there are of course people who participate in these activities that are not utilizing them for the purpose of escapism, it is a common occurrence.

These risky behaviors often provide a rush of adrenaline, which makes a person feel stronger, excited, and even as if they are untouchable in extreme cases. Risking one’s own safety as a form of escapism is a dangerous choice to make.

Shopping

Shopping is a common form of escapism and can actually be done in a healthy manner. However, when a person shops themself into debt or begins collecting items that they have no actual use for solely for the purpose of buying things, this becomes an unhealthy form of escapism.

There are correlations between excessive shopping and several mental health issues, making this an addictive behavior in some cases, and therefore potentially dangerous for the person involved.

Gambling

Gambling is dangerous for a variety of reasons and is a common form of both addiction and escapism. The risk of financial ruin is the primary danger, however there are other risks involved as well, hanging around with dangerous people and owing money they are unable to pay being examples of these.

The rush of the occasional win keeps the gambler returning to the behavior, eventually becoming dependent upon it. This is often when the trouble begins, and it only worsens over time.

When Escapism Meets Addiction

As has been stated earlier, escapism can be healthy when done in moderation, especially when engaging in beneficial activities. However, when escapism meets addiction, the results can be catastrophic to the addicted person. This can be caused by a traumatic childhood or other trauma, or a deeper problem within the person’s mental state.

For example, when a person with a mental health disorder such as Schizophrenia suffers from symptoms such as hallucinations or hearing voices, they may wish to escape these occurrences. Often times, people are unaware that they have a problem and so they don’t seek professional help for themselves.

This can lead to substance abuse because through the substance, the affected person is able to temporarily escape the reality that scares them for a time. Eventually they realize that they feel better when under the influence than not, which often leads to excessive use. The chemical component of addiction then takes over, and they find themselves truly addicted; unable to stop for they feel as if they need the substance to survive.

The simple desire to escape from their reality caused a chain reaction that ended in a dangerous substance abuse problem. This is why treatment centers are staffed with mental health professionals; the underlying mental health disorder is often the root cause of the addiction and the key to a lasting recovery.

Conclusion

Escapism can be a healthy way to reset and recharge when we simply need a break from our daily lives. Choosing healthy activities such as reading, exercise, creative endeavors or meditation are beneficial to our overall well-being, and can contribute to our lives in positive ways.

Unfortunately, escapism can also be detrimental to our physical and mental health. Addiction, dangerous behaviors, and overuse of escapism to essentially run away from one’s reality can have a variety of negative effects and potentially lead to further problems.

The correlation between addiction and escapism is complex, but also clear. Addiction in itself appears to be an extreme form of escapism, affording the user temporary relief from issues they cannot face on their own. This can unfortunately lead to a much bigger problem, making recovery even more difficult than it might have been before the addiction took hold.