When substance abuse becomes someone’s priority, this person’s relationships suffer with the effects of addiction. Whether someone you love is addicted to prescription medications, alcohol, illicit drugs, or any combination of those, addiction affects all families in similar ways.
The substance abuser has reached a state in which their dependency has become uncontrollable, to the point where they’d ignore the potential negative consequences of their actions. That happens due to the short-term, exaggerated “high” feeling drugs produce in their nervous system, causing them to seek more of that substance to feed their tolerance.
The drug user and their family may be in denial until the situation is out of control. In some cases, a dependency may already have settled in without their realization. Thankfully, that situation is preventable.
There are several ways addiction can manifest in relationships. The sooner you pay attention to the following signs, the sooner you’ll be able to get the help your loved one or significant other needs.
Financial Trouble
Ex recovering addict and author of “The Year of Less”, Cait Flanders, wrote on her (now retired) personal blog about the cost of her alcohol abuse. The result: a whopping $2,500 a year. Of course, the cost of an addiction may vary depending on pricing and consumption, but financing any addiction is expensive, nonetheless.
However, high costs aren’t the only issue. Money and financial problems are among the top reasons why marriages end, and it all has to do with clashing opinions about the value of money. The person who’s suffering with an addiction is willing to spend a lot of money to sustain their abuse. On the other hand, others involved know they’ve got important expenses, which could lead to incessant arguing.
Especially if the couple is already struggling with debt, alcohol can add yet another burden to the relationship. If one of you is an aggressive communicator, things may take a turn for the worse, fast.
A Lack of Trust
You’re not alone if you had a loved one lie about cutting down or being sober. Having someone you care about blatantly lie to you can be hurtful, and your trust in them may weaken over time.
It helps if you understand that they wouldn’t react that way in normal circumstances. That’s the addiction working its way through their nervous system, making a lie preferable over the eventual need to surrender.
Substance abusers lie for a number of reasons:
- They lie to run away from any type of treatment, like rehab centers, where they’ll need to refrain from drug use.
- They may think that, if they admit their problem to others, they’ll be a target for criticism and hatred.
- Perhaps, they just don’t want to cause any problems to anyone, and just keep fooling themselves with the deceitful “I can stop whenever I want to” inner monologue.
This lack of trust creates a suspicious atmosphere, which isn’t healthy for anyone involved.
Potentially Abusive Behavior
Research shows that substance abuse is directly linked to domestic violence. About 80% of domestic violence crimes have drug use as a culprit.
That happens because dangerous substances sabotage the connection between neurons and neurotransmitters, causing the abuser to crave the substance in question. As a result, their brain will be continuously asking for more of that “buzz” it causes.
If the person doesn’t have quick access to it, their brain will react abnormally, and so will their bodies. Even if a person is usually nonaggressive, there’s no telling whether they’ll react with violence under the influence.
Crippling Fights
Couples may realize they’re fighting more than usual if one or both of them suffer with substance abuse.
After all, their problems could snowball into a series of arguments that tie into money problems, the fate of their relationship, the mistrust involved in it, as well as the sufferer’s unwillingness to seek help.
The pressure of it all can radiate into the couple’s work and personal life, resulting in unbearable stress for both parties until the situation is fully resolved. If that takes a long time, the stress could become chronic and spring a number of health issues. No one wants to have to deal with even more problems.
Getting Children Involved
It isn’t easy to explain the meaning of “addiction” to a child, let alone the chaos it may cause. While children may notice that a loved one is acting strange, they’re likely to get confused about what’s going on.
If fights occur and children are present, this could impact the child’s future relationships.
Even if there are no outrageous arguments, parents may risk their child’s social and emotional development by showing a lack of affection toward each other. Children could also end up blaming themselves for what’s happening, particularly if the issue isn’t properly addressed.
In addition, the disturbance in children and teenagers’ early brain development can manifest in the following ways:
- Showing symptoms of anxiety and depression
- Having trouble sleeping or staying awake.
- Showing conduct disorders, such as antisocial behavior.
Setting a Bad Example for Teenagers
Parents are role models for their children. The example they set at home has the power to dictate their child’s behaviors and beliefs later in life. Those examples include that of a healthy, drug-free lifestyle.
Sadly, the same rule applies to bad examples. In the case of parents who struggle with addiction, the illness could influence teenage behavior. That’s because, as children, we learn to trust our parents and even follow in their footsteps, which could be problematic when it comes to substance abuse.
If teens are easily influenced by the romanticized portrayal of addiction in the media, imagine how their own family members could bring them closer to drugs and alcohol, even without realizing.
A Mutual Struggle to Cope
The addict suffers, but so do the people around them.
They may wonder when this situation is going to reach an end. There might be a fear of their significant other getting involved in legal disputes, or a drunk driving accident. There’s a worry of having little to no control of the situation at hand. This anxiety could put a strain on the relationship and affect the way both people interact with each other.
Even the sufferer may want to remove themselves from the situation, but are unable to since addiction rewires their brain in a negative way. Bringing the brain’s chemistry back to normal isn’t something that happens overnight. It requires outstanding willpower and, most of the time, professional intervention.
A Fear of Relapse
Another source of stress is potential relapse. Unfortunately, a relapse could damage the work a person has gone through to remain sober.
Even after someone gets the all-clear, an apprehensive behavior may linger. Their partner and children may wonder if everything will return to normal or if they’ll sink back into their damaging habits. Yet another source of suspicion, which is another common cause of relationship trouble.
In order to avoid relapse, the substance abuser would ideally go through aftercare programs and relapse prevention plans. Although it’s often a lengthy process, relapse prevention is an essential part of addiction recovery and shouldn’t be dismissed.
Divorce
A relationship may become turbulent enough that it results in separation.
Research shows that 24 million Americans are married and have an addiction, or are married to someone who has an addiction. In an ideal world, both parties would work together to reach a successful recovery. However, not all partners are willing to sacrifice their jobs and personal life to care for someone with an addiction and would rather opt out of the relationship.
Such a decision could take a heavy emotional toll on the substance abuser and make matters worse.
Potential Illness and Accidents
We’d be remiss not to mention the worst-case scenarios addiction may trigger. Addiction can cause a range of mental and physical illnesses, some of them irreversible and potentially fatal.
Tragic outcomes can bring a feeling of sadness or impotence over family members. The ruinous effects of addiction feed the thought that they “could have done better” when, most of the time, they’ve done everything they could. You and your family can avoid this predicament with the right support.
Regardless of the Severity of the Problem, It Can Be Solved
The weight of an addiction can make relationships suffer. Not only during the crisis, but also when reminiscing about the distress it has caused.
For this reason, the people involved should seek professional help as soon as addiction signs are noticeable. Understanding and admitting the need for treatment is arguably the hardest part of the process, but the person you love isn’t alone.
Don’t hesitate to call 954-698-4054 for immediate help.